I wanted to get this written before I forgot and my way of keeping track of all this was messed up. I ended up taking the medicine Thursday morning on Day 5 of my cycle. I was very hesitant Wed night but I called my sister, of course I cried b/c I'm just an emotional person I guess, she helped calm me down and talk through things rationally and helped make my decision. Well I made it, she helped guide me :) (I am an accountant so things are getting ready to rock n' roll at work - each year there is a 2 day tax update seminar in January, Thurs & Fri were it, hence the no post. I don't normally go online at home but since it is this time of the year, I don't know what is waiting for me on Monday so I don't know if I'll have time to post from there).
Anyway, driving home Thursday night, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. There was no more questioning if it was the right decision, I all of a sudden had a new sense of hope and excitement back. With getting rejected for so many months, I no longer was letting my hopes get up. THursday afternoon I started envisioning what could possibly be here in about 9 months.
It is now Sunday, day 4 of taking the medicine and while the hope is still there, it isn't as strong as it was. Don't get me wrong, I hope it works but I'm trying to not get myself completely pysched up to be let down again. I don't think I've had anything too big in terms of side effects so far. I'm not sure if they would start right away or if it takes a few days of pills to begin. I know I get random little headaches sometimes but fortunately they aren't lasting. Last night going to bed, I was warm but I never really had a full out hot flash so I'm not sure if it was just me or the pills. Here's some TMI, but I haven't been going to the bathroom as well lately. That could be for a few reasons, one is I haven't been eating like normal (my body reacts weird toa big change in my diet). With the classes THurs/Fri I didn't have my normal routine of food. On top of that, I can't tell if these are suppressing my appetite because I'm not really hungry. I'm eating but I don't normally feel hungry, I eat because I'm supposed too.
So tomorrow is the last pill, I'm hoping I take it, no side effects and in a few weeks I have new to report. Until then, I'm going on with my day :)
Don't give up hope! You have to try to let go of the control of it all (I know how hard it is) and have faith that what's meant to be for the 2 of you will happen! The hardest thing to accept is that it won't happen on our time schedule because there's already a schedule in place for us.
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