Up until yesterday I don't think I had fully grasped or accepted the fact that as of this second I guess I'm considered an infertile..I guess. Not like I really care about what I'm called, as long as one day (preferably sooner than later) I'm not infertile at least one time. But what I realized yesterday is I am frustrated with others that have the accidental pregnancy, one person in particular. I've always had issues with people that are 'baby-makers' when they clearly can't afford one, yet they go on to have 3, 4 and 5 children (whole other issue dealing with welfare and politics I don't care to get into at this point in time). (Just for the record I don't think 'those types of people' should be 'punished' and not aloud any children but I think they should take the accountability to themselves and not do, not have to be told by someone else they need to stop..anyway!). I read all these blogs where people are upset or frustrated at fertiles. I always thought, hmm will I ever get bitter or upset? Why should I, it's not their fault they are just lucky. Well you know what, I am. I think these people are very fortunate and most probably dont realize how lucky they are but when they start complaining I get angry. Here's the story.
Dave's cousin is married. He and his wife met, engaged about 8 months later, married 5 months after that and moved across country. Ok thats fine, I don't care how it works, it works out for them. Well the cousin is pursuing his phd so he's not just some bum, but he does not work. The wife, our cousin-in-law (cil), is kind of a lost soul, not sure what to do, always doing random jobs (at least she works!), and decided to go back to school to get a degree in arts or theater or something (hope it works out for her but I believe its a tough field). Anyway - they are both students, did not have health insurance, barely had enough money to live on. They 'accidentally' got pregnant last New Years. They called to tell us and I asked if they were trying (the month before I saw them and they said they did not want children for about 5 years and went on to list the reasons why). She said 'no way we weren't trying, its because of our dumb health care system and us not having insurance we couldn't afford birth control anymore.' Serioulsy?? You think having a child is going to be less expensive than birth control?? You mean to tell me your school doesn't offer some type of health insurance for stu dents?? Or you don't have a nurse there you can get generic bc? Anyway I was happy for them because its a happy time but I was actually feeling 'whatever.'
Well yesterday I saw her complaining yet again on fb about how cranky her baby is and how he doesnt cry and how hard it is being a student while having a newborn (she is back in school, she's doing well and is getting good grades so I have to give her props for that). I want to say, really??? Is it that awful? Granted, if I ever have a baby I'm sure I am going to be frustrated and upset and exhausted and complain but my goodness I hope I remember the people out there doing anything possible to get to that moment. I get that she doesn't know, or may not be aware of what others go through because hers was just an 'accident' but I'd like to scream at her and tell her otherwise. I won't of course, I'll behave :) I do know that I haven't commented on anything to her basically since I found out she was pregnant. I do the necessarry 'oh hes so cute and congratulations' but I don't do more than that. I feel bad but I just can't. I can't bring myself to it.
I just want to add for the record that I do not care when people complain about it, I personally enjoy hearing about the bad times, maybe not enjoy but I like not having everything sugar coated. Its so important I think to be aware of everything beforehand to maybe make it easier. I just dont like the 'accidents' and then the non-stop complaining. Thats all I mean :)
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